He Thought I Was Being Good, I Was Just Getting Ready to leave Chapter 19

After graduation, I went into investing. I had a good eye for it. Every deal I touched turned to gold.

Harrison was a terrible person, but he had a brilliant mind. Those years, when he had nothing better to do, he taught me things, step by step.

Once my career took off, my mom stopped pushing me to go on blind dates. If any of the neighbors asked, she’d snap at them.

“Mind your own business! My daughter doesn’t need to marry anyone, and it’s got nothing to do with you.”

I wasn’t planning to stay single forever. I saw the wedding gown Harrison picked out for me.

He knew me well, and the gown was beautiful, but I still said no.

He wouldn’t accept it. “I can wait. One day, you’ll want to wear it.”

Still so sure of himself, still so confident. I just smiled.

But late at night, when he’d been drinking, he’d go find Derek.

He had no one else to turn to, so he begged Derek to help.

“Talk to her. She used to be so good. Why won’t she listen this time?”

Derek just clicked his tongue. If Ella really listened to anyone, she wouldn’t have been with Harrison in the first place.

Later, other people tried to talk to me too, in their own roundabout way.

They’d say things like, “Harrison only ever had two or three ounces of real feeling to give. But he gave them all to you.”

I didn’t agree. Don’t I deserve a man who can give me all ten ounces?

When a woman has her own money, she can afford to be picky, including about men.

At thirty-three, I got married, to a man I chose very, very carefully.

The wedding was in my hometown, and my mom couldn’t stop smiling.

It was a big party. Vows were said, one after another.

I didn’t believe in men. I didn’t believe in vows.

The man I was with now, would be faithful to me forever? I didn’t know.

But here’s what I did know: a good girl’s vocabulary wasn’t only about enduring.

If that day ever came, I would kick him to the curb without looking back.

The man beside me must have sensed something. He looked at me with those big eyes, almost pouting.

“Honey, on our wedding day? What are you thinking about?”

I laughed and squeezed his hand.

Derek came to the wedding. He brought a gift. He looked a little embarrassed, like maybe a wedding wasn’t the right place for it.

He’d asked Harrison to come along, but Harrison said no, said he couldn’t stand to see Ella in a wedding gown someone else picked out.

I looked at the gift. It was the diamond ring, worth a fortune.

Through the noise of the celebration, I thought I heard a car pull away.

I turned and looked back. Banners waved in the wind, greeting guests, sending them off.

They carried away the dusk of my nineteen-year-old self.

Those long, consuming years, all that wanting and hurting, faded like smoke. Gone without a trace.

From now on, love and hate are both in the past.

The road ahead is wide open.