He Thought I Was Being Good, I Was Just Getting Ready to leave Chapter 07

He Thought I Was Being Good, I Was Just Getting Ready to leave Chapter 07

When I woke up, someone was holding my hand tightly. I tried to move, and the grip only tightened.

I turned my head. Harrison let go, flexing his fingers and rotating his wrist.

He looked me over and said darkly, “You took that many sleeping pills? Are you out of your mind?”

“Who taught you this? Threatening people with suicide?”

I remembered then, after my mom’s phone call, I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d take a pill or two to help.

But my head was foggy, and I accidentally took several more.

By the time I realized what was happening, I managed to hit the emergency call button in the villa. The house manager must have come right away.

Harrison’s face was exhausted and angry, and, just maybe, a little scared.

I almost laughed. Did he really think I would try to kill myself to get back at him?

I didn’t bother explaining. I just asked, “Can’t you… just be with me? Only me?”

My voice cracked when I said it.

Is it so hard to love me the way I love you?

I asked him, hopelessly clinging to the thought that maybe this could be his last chance to get it right.

I was so pathetic that I was willing to throw away every shred of my dignity. If he just agreed, I would forget everything and pretend none of it had ever happened.

I hated myself for it. I despised myself.

But what else could I do? Some people are like a curse. You can’t shake them off.

“One last time, okay?” My voice was low. Tears fell onto the back of my hand.
“Don’t go to them anymore…”

Harrison stared at me in silence for a long time.

In the days that followed, I often thought about that moment.

I thought about the way he looked at my tear-streaked face, his eyes unreadable. I wondered if, for even a second, he felt something shift inside him.

But in the end, he just sighed and started explaining things to me like I was a child asking for candy.

“Ella, what exactly did I ever promise you?” He frowned, trying to remember.

I froze, my hands clenching.

He shook his head. “Love? Marriage? Loyalty? I never promised you any of that. We’re here because we both wanted to be. That’s all there is to it.”

“I’ll say it again. If you can’t take it, we say goodbye cleanly.”

He stood up and shoved the bottle of sleeping pills from my nightstand into his coat pocket.

“Get some rest.” He tucked the blanket around me. “Derek’s birthday is the day after tomorrow. I already picked out a gift for you. When you’ve calmed down, give me a call and I’ll come get you.”

I should have known better. A man as selfish as Harrison would never change.

As long as I had no bottom line, as long as I gave him an inch, he would take a mile.

It had always been this way, and it would always be this way.

Maybe I really had taken too many pills. Because I couldn’t believe I’d said those words to him.

You can’t warm a heartless man.

I picked up my phone and opened my email.

I stared at the screen for a few seconds, then hit send.